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Child Custody in a Divorce - What is Best for the Children?
from: Howard IkenCopyright 2005 The Divorce Center P.A.
In most states, a court's decision about child custody during a
divorce used to be simple to make. The judge would give custody
to the mom. The dad got alternating weekend visitation. Now,
custody decisions are drastically more complex. Many states have
adopted a standard called "best interests of the child." Judges
are required to weigh a list of factors to determine which
parent is the proper custodian of the children. The level of
complexity in custody decisions has drastically risen and
decisions are no longer clear-cut.
Florida is one state that places an emphasis on the protection
of children involved in a divorce. The best interests of the
child are the guiding principles in Florida. Domestic relations
law of the state outline a list of factors a judge must consider
in every custody decision: 1. the child's school and home
history; 2. the permanence of the child's proposed home; 3. the
continuity of the child's situation; 4. the parent's ability to
provide the necessities of life; 5. love, affection, and
existing ties with either parent; 6. any history of domestic
violence; and 7. the parent most likely to promote the child's
continued contact and relationship with the other parent.
There are two factors that appear to be most important: 6. the
history of domestic violence and 7. the parent most likely to
promote the child's continued contact and relationship with the
other parent. The importance of considering domestic violence is
obvious. If a child is awarded to a violent parent, the safety
of that child might be compromised. But most people are not
aware of and do not understand why factor #7 is so important:
the parent most likely to promote the child's continued contact
and relationship with the other parent. And because there is so
little awareness of this factor, it presents both a great
opportunity and great danger for parents seeking custody of
their child. The "best interests of the child" standard was
developed by lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and social
workers. It represents a balancing of interests and is designed
to benefit the child. The states that have adopted this standard
believe a child should have a continuing bond with both parents,
even after a divorce. And that mutual bond is best promoted by a
parent that promotes visitation with the non-custodial parent.
The parent that appears to promote the child's contact with the
other parent will get a strong preference in a custody decision.
The parent that refuses visitation with the other parent will
hurt themselves in a custody decision. Cooperation with
visitation can take many forms. A suggested pattern of conduct
includes: avoiding discussions of adult - divorce issues with
the children, making reasonable arrangements for weekly
visitation, openness about sharing holidays with the children,
and participating in joint decision making about major
children's issues.
If you are contemplating divorce, you should educate yourself
about how courts and judges make decisions. By educating
yourself, you can make sure a judge will look favorably at your
behavior. A divorce does not have to be a guessing game. The
educated spouse will always get a more favorable outcome.
About the author:
Howard Iken is a Divorce Attorney practicing in the Tampa
Florida area. His telephone number is 888-439-3486. More
information on child custody decisions can be found at
http://www.18884mydivorce.com/pub/Childcustody/child-custody-fact
ors.htm General information on all divorce issues can be found
at http://www.18884mydivorce.com
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